Latest in Silly Stimulus Waste

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While economists are debating the effectiveness of President Obama’s stimulus plan and whether a second stimulus is needed, a lot of macroeconomic models are being matched against each other to attempt to determine the effectiveness of the stimulus, and the potential effectiveness of certain spending going forward. Questions being asked attempt to determine things such as: Is the spending multiplier higher for road construction or a for a payroll tax cut? But a new report highlights the absurdity of some of these high-level academic discussions (and the spending they are associated with) by now asking questions like, “What’s the multiplier for an interpretive dance program?” Over $750K was spent on a grant to fund development of software to facilitate videotaping and choreographing dances in Charlotte.

Senators John McCain and Tom Coburn have done an excellent job watching the wasteful projects paid for by the Recovery Act and come up with a list some of the 100 worst. These aren’t the absolute worst, because this report is the third in a series, each packed with outrageous examples. Here are a few of our new favorites.

Among the highlights are a half-million dollar grant to give free smartphones to those who quit smoking, so they can get texts and emails to keep them from falling off the wagon.

Whether they use the patch, the gum, or go cold turkey, millions of Americans try to quit smoking every year for their own health. Now, Uncle Sam will give them an additional reason to quit: a taxpayer-funded smartphone. The American Legacy Foundation is slated to receive almost half a million dollars to provide quitting smokers with a smartphone so they can contact their quitting support groups by text message or phone call to prevent relapses. The project bills itself as an ideal use of Recovery Act funds because “it represents an extraordinary opportunity to jump-start a collaborative effort that spearheads the use of web-enabled mobile devices to enhance the efficiency, fidelity, and impact of an established tobacco quit-line program that benefits underserved communities in Washington, D.C.”

Taxpayers are also funding experiments to examine the effects of cocaine on monkeys. Apparently the best stimulus is funding for stimulants.

Researchers at Wake Forest University think that, in at least one case, it is good to monkey around with stimulus dollars. The Department of Health and Human Services has sent $144,541 to the Winston-Salem College to see how monkeys react under the influence of cocaine. The project, titled “Effect of Cocaine Self-Administration on Metabotropic Glutamate Systems,” would have the monkeys self-administer the drugs while researchers monitor and study their glutamate levels. When asked how studying drug-crazed primates would improve the national economy, a Wake Forest University Medical School Spokesman said, “It's actually the continuation of a job that might not still be there if it hadn't been for the stimulus funding. And it’s a good job.” He added, “It’s also very worthwhile research.”

Everyone knows that infrastructure and spending is very useful and highly simulative, right? How about if that transportation funding is for bus stop art?

If you want to experience art in Los Angeles, look no further than the local bus stop. That’s because transit agencies have been purchasing art for bus stops and train stations and for construction fences to “create[ ] a sense of place and engage [ ] transit riders.” Now the transit authority will use a portion of the just over $1 million of stimulus funds to purchase art for 19 bus stations along the Harbor and El Monte transit way “to enhance the customer experience,” and to incorporate “unique artworks…designed to make transit a more attractive alternative.”

The next time you read Paul Krugman and he tells you that the original stimulus was too small, think about how many more murals the federal government should be funding.